=(
after so much time spent guessing and hoping and wondering and thinking, i finally got information that i thought i'd never have. and i'm not sure if i can handle it.
knowing too much is really as good as one thinks. What they said is right, ignorance is sometimes really bliss. the more i hear, the more i know, the more miserable i become. all those stuff is screwing around in my head. at least when the information was more subtle, all i experience is a slight ache and frequent wondering faraway moments. now, it's becoming a constant throbbing threatening to reduce me to someone even more unlike myself than ever.
i've heard that before. why did i felt a slight aching the first but now it explodes into anger and distinct pain? i promised myself i wont shed a tear. but it's getting harder to keep that promise.
fuck.
